CHEERS TO 23
What more appropriate way to enter yet another solar return than with distinct reflection.
I have personally been reflecting and sitting with myself more heavily than usual lately.
Thinking about my lessons, losses, and growth. As I enter 23, I want to shed light on the valuable yet uncomfortable lessons I have learned.
1. Boundaries need to be set with family too
Growing up I inevitably thought you had to tolerate family because they were just that, family. Over the years I have learned boundaries are essential not only with friends and partners but with relatives as well. Figure out what you will and will not accept and stand firm in that. Allow your boundaries to set the tone for EVERY relationship in your life including family.
2. No one knows what the fuck they are doing
No one has life figured out. Give yourself space and grace in the unknown.
3. It is okay to change your mind
No thought is set in stone, normalize letting them come and go. It is OK to change your mind. Any day. Anytime.
4. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stay true to you
People are fickle and energy is fluid. Things are “in” and then they are not. don't worry about pleasing other people; living by someone else's standards or rules. Don’t compromise yourself to fit in either. Stay true to you, whatever that looks like.
5. Only make space for people that you feel your best around
Life is too short to voluntarily be around anyone that doesn’t make you feel powerful, unstoppable, and loved. You are the only one that has the power to create your inner circle from scratch. Do so with intention and establish spaces with those who reflect your higher being.
6. You can serve while being served
You can water other people while being watered. Do not feel like you have to be at a certain level to be at service to others, you can simultaneously serve while being served.
7. Everything comes full circle
Life has a way of balancing and correcting. Timings, the decisions we make have frequently more to do with our perceptions and the decisions we go on to make. To come full circle is to complete a cycle of transition.
8. Follow passion rather than what’s “in”
It is substantial for us to realize what’s “in” in this season may not be what’s “in” in a month, even 2 weeks from now. Society is constantly changing. Stay true to your passion and allow that to direct you, your passion will always be in season.
9. Let go of the identities other people gave you
We tend to absorb and become what other people “pictured” us to be. Let that go. You are not responsible to uphold people's “idea” of you.
10. You don't lose yourself in purpose
You never lose yourself when you are aligned with your highest goal, you only gain.
11. Never confuse activity with productivity
Just because you’re in motion doesn’t mean you are in alignment.
12. Seek out voices that speak to who you are becoming
It is important for us to not only make connections with people who are on the same wavelength as us but additionally who we are aspiring to be. Pay attention to what side of you these connections are bringing out and what version of you is showing up
13. Stay away from people that make you feel small
Keep people that genuinely value you in your circle and respect that you’re constantly evolving. Don’t allow anyone to box you in.
14. Don't get comfortable with being functional in your dysfunction
Sometimes we get so used to surviving in our toxicity and trauma that we forget that surviving is not the same as living. Don’t get comfortable operating from a place of dysfunction.
15. Nothing you are seeking is outside of you
Everything you desire is within you. You will never have to outsource to get your internal needs met. You are who seek.
16. The universe is never wrong with their introductions
You never meet people by chance. Everyone has something to teach you.
17. You have to be in solitude during certain lessons
Some seasons are just meant for you and your higher being. Embrace the solitude and remember alone doesn’t mean lonely.
18. It’s important to water your platonic friendships the same way you would a romantic one
Sometimes we tend to put our romantic relationships on a pedestal and starve our friendships. Remember to water ALL your relationships!
19. You will know who you are by the enemies you face
You will come to find your strength and perseverance in the obstacles you encounter. As you level up the enemies seem to get fiercer. New level, new devils.
20. Don’t fall in love with potential
We tend to fantasize about what could be rather than what it actually is. Don’t fall in love with the reality you made up in your head. The problem with fantasy is that it keeps you from being grounded in reality. Don’t fall in love with what could be.
21. Take shit for face value
Taking something at face value means not to look any deeper into what is being said by taking people at their word, the responsibility sits with them.
22. You owe it to yourself to heal
It can start and end with you. What you have endured does not have to continue. You control you.
23. You cannot save everyone
“You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them.” ― Bryant McGill